3 Questions Every Homeschool Parent Has Been Asked
My wife, Sarah, and I decided when we started our family that for us, obedience in our calling as parents to raise our children in the Lord meant the homeschooling of our three children. It has required sacrifice and dedication, but it has been wonderful.
Sarah and I were both educated in the public school system, and we have had our oldest child complete 1.5 years of public education. We have otherwise homeschooled our three boys, aged 15, 8, and 6, for their whole lives. We are aware of many merits and challenges in each model, but have overwhelmingly landed on the conviction that for us, the homeschool model is best.
Homeschooling has become so counter-cultural in America that the questions and comments that we receive from people who learn that we have chosen this model of education can be frustratingly predictable.
Below are a few of the most common questions we hear, and how I might answer them.
Question One: Who provides or approves your curriculum? To whom do you report their grades/scores/performance?
There is a predominant belief in American society today that has become so normative that we don’t even notice that we are believing it anymore.
Inherent in any question of who outside my home has approved or given me the authority to choose what and how my children are instructed and evaluated in my home is the belief that ultimately, our children belong to the state.
Our children belong first to the Lord, who has then entrusted them to our care and upbringing as their parents. They do not belong to the government, and we do not require the government’s permission, authority, approval, or input in their education or upbringing.
Nobody approves our curriculum, and we do not report their performance to any outside entity. Just as the government does not ask us what they should teach our children or how, we do not ask the government what we should teach our children or how. Is that so strange?
Question Two: How do you know if your kids are keeping up with kids in the public schools?
Inherent in this question is the belief that public school sets the standard of academic excellence and that homeschoolers are trying to keep pace.
My city has a very highly-rated school system, which we are grateful to support. But from a testing perspective, on average, American public school students continually rank near the bottom in math, science and reading compared to other industrialized nations.
The typical response to this reality from public school parents is to criticize whether these standardized tests are truly effective at measuring a child’s grasp of the content they are being taught. It can’t be that the students haven’t truly mastered the content. It must be a flaw with testing.
I don’t love standardized tests either. But they are the measuring stick that the government uses to evaluate students who are receiving a government-sanctioned education.
It would require mental gymnastics to say that we trust the government to design our child’s education, but then call the government incompetent when it comes to evaluating our child’s competency in the subjects they are being taught.
A common statement you will hear when a public school student tests poorly is, “They are not a good test-taker.” This is an understandable sentiment. After all, if the student is getting high marks in a class but is constantly getting a C or a D on standardized exams, it would seem that something is off! Maybe they just aren’t good at “taking tests” or “performing under pressure.”
Sarah and I believe it is far more probable that public school children are able to achieve As and Bs in their courses without actually mastering the content.
Statistically, the majority of children in our public schools maintain a B average or above, while performing on average near the bottom on a global scale when evaluated for competency in math, science and reading.
Our public school classrooms are handing out passing grades while their students fail to demonstrate mastery and competency in the subjects in which they are receiving those grades.
So to answer this question; We are not trying to keep up with the public schools. That is not our goal. We are working to provide an education whereby our children learn their curriculum with a higher degree of mastery than their public school counterparts.
Question Three: What about socialization? Aren’t you afraid they’ll be weird?
I hate this one.
I have no idea when we started thinking that the best way for a child to be “socialized” is to spend the majority of his waking hours with other children his own age. How much can a 7-year-old teach another 7-year-old about how to interact in this world? And if a child’s peer group is such a great place to receive socialization, why do parents work so hard to teach their public school children how to RESIST peer pressure?
Sarah and I have found that children who spend a lot of time interacting with people from every age group grow to demonstrate greater maturity, emotional intelligence, confidence, humility, respect and aptitude than those who spend the majority of their time around people in their same age group.
Secondly, we believe that it is our responsibility as parents, not the responsibility of the State, the public education system, or other people’s children, to “socialize” our children. We do not require the help of the State in teaching our children how to share, how to say please, how to take turns, use their manners, stand in line, practice safe sex, or use substances responsibly. The idea that without the public school system, children will not know how to behave in society is foolish to us.
Meanwhile, we believe it is our job and our joy as parents to delay our children from the countless social exposures that are harmful during their development and moral upbringing. Anyone who attended a public junior high or high school can attest to the prevalence of damaging social pressures. The State sponsors countless intervention programs to attempt to reduce bullying, drug and alcohol use, unsafe sex practices, violence, disrespect, and more. We know these things are rampant problems.
We believe we are simply more qualified than the gym teacher, the kid in the gym locker room, or the D.A.R.E police officer to prepare our children for these realities.
So to answer the question, no. We are not worried that our kids will be weird if they aren’t socialized by the public school system.
Are you a homeschool parent? What are some of the most common questions you receive about your decision to raise your children in this way?
Disclaimer: It is not my ambition in writing this post to esteem homeschooling as superior to public school in all things for all people. It is my ambition to correct the myth that public school is superior to homeschool in the three areas homeschoolers are most commonly questioned.
